Limerence and Finding Closure

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You can be free from the grip of limerence!

Whether you’ve been in the throes of limerence for only a few months or a few years, you undoubtedly have asked yourself: When will this end? Will I ever feel closure from this? Is it even possible? How long will it take?

While everyone’s limerence experience is different, I can say for certain that there IS an end and closure is possible, though it may not be in the way that you want to happen or expect it to unfold.

Keep in mind the following when you are feeling desperate for your attachment to your LO and the painful feelings of limerence to be DONE:

  • Be realistic with time and expectations: It’s not realistic for closure and an end to the feelings or desire to be in contact with your LO to happen overnight or in a short period of time. Limerence may have seemed like it came on like a bolt of lightning, but there was a gradual build up inside of you emotionally that primed you to be ready for this experience. This takes time to dismantle and heal from the intensity of the feelings and internal experience.

  • Your LO may NOT be part of the closure: While it’s not impossible to come to a point of closure with LO in the picture, most likely, the closure comes from you processing the experience, learning and healing and coming to an end of the story with your limerence experience and LO on your own.

  • Expect the Ebbs & Flows: Even if you feel like you are close to being done with limerence, just like grief, something may come up and trigger you in some way (a song, the make of LO’s car?, a scent, a place) that brings you right back into the intense feelings. You might have some really terrible days, but it doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.

  • If you’re going NO CONTACT, Stay the Course: If you have decided to go NC (no contact) with your LO, it’s crucial that you don’t back down if you are seeking closure. There may be times that you run into them or see them unexpectedly, but as you work on building your self-esteem and self-worth, putting yourself back on the LO rollercoaster will get you further from your goal, even if it may bring about a momentary sense of elation or euphoria.

  • Remember Self-Compassion: The fact that you know what limerence is and that you are experiencing it means that you have a profound capacity for love and deep emotions. Where can you be extra gentle and kind towards yourself? Where can you channel your passion, your desire, your longing? Is it a creative project, a new job, a different kind of relationship? Limerence is still love.

  • GET SUPPORT: Join a support group for limerence and better yet, check out my coaching for limerence program. I’m an ICF certified life coach and I offer one to one support because each limerence journey is different and you deserve personalized support and coaching to get you through this.

  • Are you thinking about joining one of my programs? One to one help and support to reach closure with limerence is possible and I’d be so happy to meet you and talk about what you’ve been going through (I’ve been there!!). Grab a sample session today!

With Love,

Coach Steph