Limerence & The LO of “High Value”

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Limerence & The LO of “High Value”

Limerence is often triggered most when you begin to see your LO (limerence object or love object) as someone of extraordinarily high value — and you start to devalue yourself. A power dynamic begins to form as you put this magical other person on a pedestal, while you slowly begin to feel less and less empowered. The LO now has a power over you that you can’t seem to control. This often happens during the “crystallization” process - a time when you highlight all of LO’s amazing qualities and realize this is more than a “crush.” Your feelings are stronger and more uncontrollable than you may be prepared for.

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The Self Esteem Triangle

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The Self Esteem Triangle

Imagine a Big Triangle.

The Self Esteem Triangle often goes like this: you are at the mid left of the triangle, you are doing okay, even well, and slowly starting to make your way up to the top point of the triangle.

Once you are near the top (which is actually just healthy self-esteem) it feels kinda shaky, and then something ever so slight can knock you down so you are now sliding down the right side of the triangle and then hanging out down at the bottom again until you work your way back up, again, over and over.

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Momentary satisfaction and relief vs holding out for long term benefits

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Momentary satisfaction and relief vs holding out for long term benefits

How often we find ourselves in this conundrum: living in the moment, for what is appearing now, in temporary satisfaction, pleasure and pain relief even if the best thing for us in the long term may not be visible quite yet. It's so hard to hold out for more when the impulse is to satisfy desires NOW.

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