Weekly bites on love, romance, limerence, breaking up and keeping it all together.
A Dark Night of the Soul in a relationship can derail you. It can build up quietly over months or years or jolt you awake suddenly. All at once, you may question your entire foundation. The questions of Staying or Leaving become involuntary thoughts you bounce between, day and night, then night into day that go up and down with your emotions and moods.
Read MoreIs dating feeling like a rollercoaster of emotions and constant anxiety rather than about the fun of meeting new people? Do you go on dates, get really excited about the person you just met, only to be filled with doubt, preoccupied about getting a call back or if you will be rejected? Do you constantly wonder how you can keep someone’s interest or think about ways that you can change yourself to make yourself more attractive to someone to get their full attention? If so you most likely have an Anxious Attachment style.
Read MoreHave you ever waited in a relationship, holding out, hoping the person you’re with will magically become more committed, affectionate, invested, decisive about your future?
Did it eventually happen?
If you’re in this predicament right now, it’s painful.
You have hope mixed with doubt. Your heart hurts. Your head hurts from overthinking everything.
Thinking….maybe a little more time will solve the problem, or if you just seem super patient, more forgiving, really cool and casual - they’ll finally be able to give you more.
Read MoreLimerence can quietly and then not so quietly unseat you at your heart, your soul, until you have found yourself in mid-air, like a skier learning to do new tricks, but then unsure of which way is up, or down. It can be exhilarating. Terrifying. Mind-bending, confusing, transformative. It can last for months or years. You might be searching for why it’s happening to you, how long it will last, or how to get rid of it!
Read MoreLove just out of reach. Hoping, wishing for more. Hanging on.
The pain of basic relationship needs not met.
Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship where you felt truly fulfilled or loved. Or drawn over and over to the just out of reach partner. The pain of longing can create a sort of intensity. A bittersweet passion. It can also make love without longing feel bland or missing “something.”
Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you didn’t do the chasing, you were pursued without ambiguity and it just felt off. Boring. No SPARK?
Maybe the more attractive option was the quiet, stormy, brooding guy just out of range who would barely even give you the time of day?
Copyright © Steph Lazzara // Coaching - Brooklyn, NY
