Why "You Need To Be Alone" After A Break Up Is Bad Advice

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Why "You Need To Be Alone" After A Break Up Is Bad Advice

When a significant attachment is severed, comfort is required. Sure, pets, even your kids can help. But nothing can really fill in that gap of the closeness required other than another human we are specially bonded to. This is why it is so hard to stay away from someone you love when you are hurting, why you want to go back to the person who broke your heart, and why trying to follow the advice of being alone after a break up seldom works.

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The Three Stages of Limerence

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The Three Stages of Limerence

Limerence is an intense emotional state and experience of being “in love.” It may start out as a “crush” or “infatuation” but can move into an intense all-consuming state either over time or very quickly. Unlike mutual love, limerence can be a distressing one-sided affair of the heart, body and soul. You may not realize what is happening until you are up late googling “obsessive love” because of intrusive, involuntary thoughts and fantasies involving your love interest.

… and find the term you never heard of called… Limerence.

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What is Limerence?

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What is Limerence?

What is LIMERENCE?

More intense than a crush, it’s an all consuming state of BEING IN LOVE. It’s marked by involuntary and obsessive thinking about a love interest that can lead to the highest of highs (when the feelings seem reciprocated) to the lowest of lows (when the doubt and despair sets in).

The euphoria…the despair….limerence is not love, but can be an awakening to love and life.

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Do You Attract Unavailable Men?

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Photo: @anthonytran

Photo: @anthonytran

This article was originally posted on YourTango.

It’s painful and exhausting being in a relationship with an unavailable guy.

Sleepless nights rehashing confusing mixed signals, intense, soulful, and connected sex, and then sitting anxiously awaiting for a text, days later.

Waking up with the familiar gut-sinking fear of being ghosted, and the emotional whiplash of uncertainty that comes with being with someone who just can't seem to commit.

If this type of relationship is so painful, why is it so hard to let go?

Click here to read my full article published on YourTango: 5 Reasons Why It's So Hard To Let Go Of Unavailable Men

Struggling with the heartache of being with an unavailable partner? It’s exhausting and takes a toll on your energy and self-confidence.

Contact me for a 30 minute consultation. I’ll take you through my strategies and process to get clarity on your personal situation and reclaim your power.

xOx Steph

Strange Attractors - Why Unavailability in Relationships Fuels Desire

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Strange Attractors - Why Unavailability in Relationships Fuels Desire

In the story of our lives, obstacles can either stall us into submission and retreat, or give us the fuel to motivate towards our heart’s desire or goal. Who hasn’t ever gotten fired up about a challenge or taking the hard route? In the realm of romance, obstacles seem to act as the spark that ignites passion & desire - and this can be very appealing and exciting, even if it’s with someone who does not match up as a good or logical partner for our long term relationship goals…..

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